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Thrashatouille, Bloodmores, Dire Thorns, Making Blind Eyes See

Friday 21st October 2022
Penny Black, Wrexham
Doors at 7:30pm

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North East Wales Metal Productions Presents...

Thrashatouille - UK Chef Metal, Northwich
Ever-Metal.com said...
Thrashatouille is composed of four young gentlemen so ugly that when they were born the midwives slapped their dads. They are a part of the Manchester metal scene, which means they rub shoulders with plastic gangsters and mop-topped parka wearing twats who have such adenoidal voices they could be members of Manc Bee Gees cover bands. Or they could be the parka wearing twats. I try to avoid Manchester. However, they are posh boys from Northwich and therefore not to be trusted as Cheshire is perilously close to not being Northern, hence they have to come to a good Northern city and infiltrate its metal scene in a vain attempt to get some recognition because over in Cheshire they have golf clubs and soirees and garden parties where scuzzy young metal shitheads would not be welcome. Although Ellesmere Port is Cheshire, as are Widnes and Warrington and they are rougher than an entire flock of bird’s arses. Having had many a night out in Warrington and pulling some absolute monsters, and all that… One can only imagine the culture shock as these delicate flowers of well-monied manhood turned up in an industrial city where men are men and the women are… well, as hard as the men to be fair. You don’t piss about with a Manc lass, I tell thee… Only Geordie lasses wear less clothes in winter. Thrashatouille claim to be the first UK chef metal band because they clearly aren’t old enough to remember Lawnmower Deth’s “Did You Spill My Pint?” and most of Carcass’ early back catalogue (although they have beaten The Chronicles Of Manimal And Samara to the punch with “The Chef’s Song”, which is remarkable as Thrashatouille are so young they really should still be in their bedrooms furiously masturbating over whatever is a modern analogue to the lingerie section of the Grattan’s catalogue. Don’t lie and say you didn’t ever do it, male metallers of a certain age pre-internet. Finding a dog-eared grumble mag in some bushes and getting it home safely was a highlight of our teenage years. Club International was for posh wankers) and these hairy-palmed herberts apparently are composed of a Head Chef (who, in a staggering overturning of musical hierarchies is the bass player, one Chris Hargreaves. I’ve seen a picture and it ain’t fucking pretty. Trust me. Thank god for the chef’s hat), Pastry Chef (vocalist Rob Sutton, who is Ever-Metal.com’s very own super special little hyperactive pixie. And was foolish enough to let me do this. Bet he doesn’t know the difference between choux and puff pastry though…), a Sous-Chef (James Gerber, who plays guitar – the dynamics of this “band” are all wrong. Sous-Chefs are the lowest form of life in a kitchen who actually prepare food and I was actually a guitarist in a band once and all our hate was witheringly directed towards the rhythm section) Sous-Chefs do shit like dressings and salads, not peel off finger-shredding solos so this is clearly not right. They also have a Pot Wash (Daniel Brown) on the drums. At least that’s fucking accurate. All Neanderthal tub-bashers are good for is shoving dirty plates in the dishwasher anyway… You just have to communicate in grunts and whip them into compliance.

Bloodmores - Thrash Metal Death Metal

Dire Thorns - Metal

Making Blind Eyes See - Metalcore

£3.00 advanced
7.30pm doors

XS Penny Black Wrexham
18+
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General Admission Collect a Wristband on door
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£3.30
inc. fees • £0.30 Booking fee
£3.00 Face value
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Venue information

Penny Black
Abbot Street
Wrexham
UK
21 Grosvenor St

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